Jenessa - Week 9 - Mighty Change of Heart!

Merry Christmas Everyone....its practically here!!! 

Most of you dont know that my companion and I have had some struggles and that is not what I am about to write to you about, but I wanted to share a portion of what I wrote to President Craig this week, because it truly has been a week of miracles for me and my companion and I have truly had a MIGHT CHANGE OF HEART!!! 

So here it goes.....(from Presidents letter)

OH MY GOODNESS!! I AM SO HAPPY RIGHT NOW I CANT EVEN CONTAIN MYSELF!! 

Sister Orton and I have had many might miracles happening in our companionship and in our area. It has been an absolutely spectacular week!

In terms of me and Sister Orton, you dont have anything to worry about anymore. We are working on some things that are really promising! Let me back up a bit and tell you what has happened and why we (BOTH of us) are so happy!! Tension has been mounting in our apartment and as much as we try and brush it off, it has been difficult to ignore. We have had communication issues (probably our biggest issue) with Sister Orton hardly ever saying anything and me probably saying too much. Its always felt like a one way highway. Its been quite frustrating. After only getting through half of a very intense companionship inventory, Sister Orton and I had to split up to go on a trade off. I went with Sister Clayton up to Whitehouse and thats when it all began to change! The Lord is sooooo good and sends you people right when you need them. It truly is through other people that he answers our prayers and performs miracles in our lives! Sister Clayton and I had a nice chat while we were on our trade off. Well...It was a bit of a venting session, but it turned into something incredibly spiritual. And while on the trade off I got to experience, for the first time since i have been out, the way a missionary companion SHOULD teach 50/50! It was glorious. I came to some realizations while I discussed and cried a little to Sister Clayton. Here are my realizations:

1. I CANNOT do this work without the Spirit (this is what I cried about the most). When I first came out here on my mission back in May 2012, I could not talk to people hardly at all. It was so frustrating and never made any sense. I just would start talking and sentences and ideas would come out backwards. CRAZY! I was always searching for words and could never really find them. I was always so worried about what I was going to say versus letting the Spirit work through me. Now that i have come back out I realize that the ONLY way that i can speak the way that I do and not have my sentences coming out backwards like they would normally is because of the Spirit of the Lord. I know that the ONLY time I fear is when i dont have the Spirit of the Lord with me. I have realized that this is what I was trying to convey in my interview and didn't even know it. I dont EVER fear when the Lord is near, but with all the frustration and tension in our (Sister Orton and I's) relationship it has not always been easy to have the Spirit close to me and so then i start to fear to go up and talk to people because I KNOW that I am incapable of carrying on a conversation, especially about the Gospel (that would make sense) without the Spirit of the Lord with me. So then, precious sons and daughters of our Heavenly Father pass me by when I could have shared this light with them all because I FEAR because I have not allowed the Lord to be near! That has added to the stress of this whole situation because I have felt myself taking little steps away from the Spirit daily as I have struggled with this whole thing and that is not what the Lord would have us do. 

2. I have been praying all wrong!! I have been asking the Lord all along the way to help me implement the things that I think are a good idea with Sister Orton and how the best way to implement them would be. I dont think I ever, at least not until Friday, truly asked Him what His will for his precious daughter is. I was always thinking that i had a good solution and had this master plan to help her become this stellar spiritual giant of a missionary...when really...the Lord has had a different plan all along but I was never open to seeing it. This is His work, not mine! This is His daughter I am working with and He knows her so much better then she even knows herself. As I finally prayed on Friday, just completely spent and just wanting to give up with Sister Orton, I just pleaded that I would be led to know what I should do....I didn't care what it was....I just needed guidance...and the Lord brought it to me in the form of Sister Clayton and some personal revelation as we discussed. At one point, as I was babbling on to Sister Clayton, it was as though the Lord had opened up a Spiritual gateway and poured some spiritual enlightenment into my brain! Idea after idea started flooding my mind and I was completely overwhelmed and overjoyed!! 

3. We are all here for a reason, and those reasons are ALL DIFFERENT. Sister Orton is not here to be this amazing orator and to share things with eloquence and many words. She has such an incredibly sweet spirit and a pure testimony (which is something i really admire about her) and that is what she is here to share. She is here to share HER! :-) She brings such a calming presence into a lesson and she is here to touch certain people that I cannot. As we work side by side as we should, with the Spirit of the Lord, her simple testimony and sharing the Gospel are going to touch so many people! 

4. I need to stop trying to fix something that is NOT broken!! That is basically what the Lord was telling me this past weekend.  Sister Orton isn't broken! I just haven't been working with her right. Its like she was this package that the Lord gave to me with this instruction manual and I just completely disregarded the manual and went to work on my own trying to help her be better and "fix" something that wasn't broken in the first place...trying to make her more like me...HOW DUMB!  If I had just opened up the "instruction manual"....getting on my knees and asking what the Lord would have me do (with a willing heart to do it).....he would have instructed me, like he did this weekend to STOP trying to fix and LOVE and WORK!! As I have turned my heart around I have realized that I have been doing this all wrong. Granted, there are some things that Sister Orton needs help with, but the path that I thought was the right one to take by my own reasoning has only been harming her more. It has been making it all worse and starting to "break" her.

OK...done with my really bad analogies. 

Now....Sister Orton and I are on a new and exciting path with the Lord as our guide. We are so excited. We were finally able to finish up our companionship inventory on Sunday and it was the BEST companionship inventory we have had since we first came together. I laid some things out for Sister Orton, letting her know the conclusions I had come to and shared some suggestions for our relationship and what do you know....she started talking!!!!!!! She shared, for the FIRST TIME EVER, things about me that bothered her or made her feel stupid. Most of what she said came as a total shock to me....but I am so glad that she was open and willing to share and now I can change!!! It feels so amazing! I have never been SOOO HAPPY to have someone criticize me so much in my life...haha! I have always known there were things that bothered her, but I have never been able to figure it out and now I know cause she will tell me!! YAY!!  The past 24 hours have been absolutely fantastic and full of smiles all the way. Sister Orton and I are working together in a way that we have never worked before. We have figured out a "strategy" together (with the Lords help, of course) to help her be more involved in lessons and we are both soooooo confident that it is going to work and that it will help her to become more involved as a missionary period. I am so excited! I feel like this huge weight has been lifted off of my shoulders!! This is what it truly means to "apply" the atonement and let the Lord just take it all. I have just turned it all over to Him. It is NOT my load to carry. :-) I am so grateful that it is not mine to carry. I think the weight was beginning to crush me and I finally just reached out to him through prayer and he came and took the load! I am crying right now as I write this to you because my soul is so happy! I have not felt this FREE in a long time. I thank you for your prayers and your concern and help as well. I know that the Lord has his hand in our lives and that everything happens for a reason and I have become so much stronger going through this and probably have benefited more from this relationship then Sister Orton will probably ever fully understand. I feel like I am a new person and i still have so much more to grow! 

(Everything above was from the Letter that I wrote to my mission president, President Craig this week...Now for more.....) 

Time to tell you a bit about what has been going on with us this week in the Normandy area. It has been wonderful. We were blessed to pick up 5 new investigators this week. We have also been able to solidly and recommit Harold and Christine to Baptism for Jan 5th. We are so excited for them. We realized that we hadn't spelled out clearly what was required to be baptized. Now that it is more clear for them and that they have a direction to go in....they are so excited and understand that coming to church is going to be key to reaching that date. We will be setting up a baptismal calendar with them on Tuesday to help them to reach their goals!  Love it! We are teaching so many people write now. I feel like we pick up new people every day. The lord has truly been blessing us, especially since we have divided the area into thirds! Woohoo for a smaller proselyting area. It is great. We have been so much more productive, especially being on bikes.

There are so many people that I would love to talk about, but my email is already so long and I have so much more I want to write about. We are teaching so many new people and some families. We love it! Oh oh....while I was on the trade off I had the opportunity to commit this very outgoing southern black lady to baptism on the 29th of this month. She has been meeting with missionaries for over 3 years and we read 2 Nephi 31 with her. We didn't even finish the Chapter and the Spirit was so strong and we asked her to be baptized and she said YES!!  It was amazing! Love her!! We are teaching this girl named Kristy, we are meeting with her for the 2nd time tonight. She is like a sponge. She has never been very religious, but has always believed in God and she loves everything that we have to share with her. We are so excited! :-) We already invited her to baptism on the first lesson and she said yes and tonight we plan on committing her to a date! :-) Oh goodness I love this work! The Gospel is so true!! 

This past week it POURED on us TWICE! The first time we weren't prepared for it at all on Tuesday. It was hilarious! On Saturday, Sister Orton and I were both so wet (it was like we had jumped into a pool with all our cloths on), but we still were able to pick up a new investigator Jenny who was sitting out on her porch. I think she was very intrigued that we were our riding in the rain...IN SKIRTS!!! LOL :-) It was fantastic. The Lord led us right to her and at the perfect time. Cause she said she doesn't open her door for people late at night. We didn't get into our appointment we had scheduled that night with a lady named Cynthia. So we followed our back up plans, but then decided to try another house before and because of that on our way back down the street Cynthia had just come out and sat on her porch for a minute and we were able to teach her the first lesson and give her a Book of Mormon. She is even coming to the Relief Society Christmas Party on Thursday, super excited! 

Our week is SOOOOO PACKED!! We have at least 2 appointments with investigators nearly every day this week. We are also being fed by ward members more than we ever have before, GO CHRISTMAS SPIRIT! :-) HAHA! We love it....although my waistline doesn't appreciate it so much! HAHA! :-) We'll work on that after the Holidays are over! 

We had our Mission Christmas Party this week. It was absolutely FANTASTIC! We had a talent show and had some pretty creative and fun talents shared! I loved it. Sister Craig also put together a little devotional with music and scripture narrations in between. I was asked to since Mary Did You know? Which is one of my favorite songs! It was so much fun to be with the entire mission and to see some of my favorite people and to give Sister Craig a huge HUG!!! I love hugs from my mission Momma!! It was a wonderful time and we laughed so hard. I was able to sing for the Talent show and sang "Arise and Shine Forth" by Michael McLean...it was kind of impromptu. Soooo fun!  We all received gifts and letters from the wards and from our families. I was really really lucky and got the last gift bag on the table and what do you know it has a case and a keyboard for an iPad Mini in it....WHAT???! Can you believe that? HAHA!! BTW....it looks like we are scheduled to get those at the end of January! I am so excited! Can't even stand it. Not that the work isn't already booming, but I am so excited to use all the resources that will be available with the iPads to share the gospel! :-) Can't wait!  

 

"The future is as bright as our faith," and my faith is SO BRIGHT right now!! :-) I know that this is the Lords work, not mine. I know that His work will go forward no matter what and I am excited to be a part of it. I hope you all have a blessed and Happy Holidays and always remember WHOSE day we celebrate!! :-)  

 

Merry Christmas!

Sister Heckel 

P.S the guy in the picture doing the handstand....is President Patch, he is one of President Craig's counselors and used to be the Stake President in the Jax East stake when I served in Atlantic Beach last year. He is the son of President Patch in Midway (in the 5th Ward). He can do a hand stand and walk clear across the stage and I think he is in his 50's or 60's....thats pretty great hu?!